Girl in Bionic Suit 2006

Life games

2006-12-28T13:55:00.000+08:00

When I wrote the previous entry, it was pouring right outside my window. Half way thru typing, I looked up and saw a clear grey sky. It was a nice surprise.

It's charming how our world works sometimes. Just the other week, I intended to pen an entry about how plump I was growing because I couldn't fit comfortably into my working suits. I'd eaten less and walked more distances, but my size refused to be reined in. Then one day, I just fitted (snugly) into some smaller-sized clothes again.

I wish the world works like this all the time, with nice, positive surprises along the way and/or at the end of dreary tunnels. Or maybe the world does work this way, only, we have to learn to be a little more patient. You know, ride out the waves as they come etc. After all storms come and go but we, the (good) people, are here to stay.

Like how the folks in this new city can be dreadful, the politics deadly. I wasn't playing their game but apparently that didn't matter. I was stabbed and I bled and almost died. Now I'm learning to play their game. Learning to ride the waves. But this is going to be a long-drawn game. I hope the world gives me some nice ups along the way.

Cheaper and way better than retail therapy

2006-12-27T15:18:00.000+08:00

Last night when I got into the car, drenched wet like a swan from the onslaught of the monsoon downpour, my little puppy jumped right into my arms. I buried my face in his freshly washed hair, smelling it as he snuggled into my arms, cozy like a heater in the cold weather. Times like this, melt trouble away like hot wax. Nothing like a live radiator sleeping in your arms to mask reality temporarily and make it seem pretty again.

Last Christmas

2006-12-23T12:16:00.000+08:00

... I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

Make it your Christmas mission

2006-12-19T19:27:00.000+08:00

On my desk: celebrating Christmas the modern way

I now have four Christmas gifts (thank you YOU, u, u & u) and counting. Meanwhile I haven't given a single present. I am pretty late this year, though it's not to say that I'm not late any other year. See, I'm just not good with the buying and giving of gifts for "special occasions"; I prefer to be more spontaneous ! Buy when I see something nice ! Give when it's unexpected !

That said, I would still like to do something special during this season of sharing. It's an idea that I got from Mr. M (read here). So, to the few loved ones and good friends who still read my blog, I would like to say:

Although I wish you the world, and would have given you a token of it by way of a present, I thought that it would mean a lot more to both you and I if the money that would have been spent on the said token be directed to the worthy cause of bringing Christmas cheer to the victims of the typhoons in The Philippines. I hope that you will also consider doing the same.

:)
Love,
redshot

PS: Get on Santa’s nice list (if your name’s still off it !): Donate and encourage others to do the same.

The week past

2006-12-17T08:03:00.000+08:00

What a stir it caused, the old shot taken with a mere camera phone. Naysayers were hard at work in the neighborhood. The accompanying rumors, which expectantly got more exciting as they got passed along, was almost two weeks old when we were confronted by the elders.

We were forewarned just an hour before Jelly went to J. Still it was quite a shock ! that more than half of the neighborhood had already been treating it as the street gossip for a while. I didn't remember J being any sort of celebrity before I came. What warranted such interest in his personal life ?

I was shocked, then outraged, and am still mad. The anger makes me reckless. I'd kept my profile low, shunning limelight and steering clear of the politics. But all I want to do now, is to spit in the faces of the gossipers. What right have you, to be doing what you were/are doing ? Especially YOU, who are leaving the neighborhood. Why do you have to stir up such shit about us, who would still be here, long after you are gone ?

My indignation is my most effective reminder of how vicious even remote neighbors can turn out to be. I hope it never fades away.

The return of the prodigal blogger

2006-11-25T02:40:00.000+08:00

It's getting dusty here, isn't it ? Many, many apologies for the willful neglect. It has been weeks of too few and too many happenings since I moved to a new city. I thought I am streetwise, but the new place is a whole new jungle. I am cautious but eager to conquer the world while I still know everything. Given what I have, I count myself pretty fortunate to be here. Someone up there is giving me a huge break.

My immediate neighbors are condescendingly cordial. But I pretty much got used to it after the initial frustration. Things are much easier because I am not interested to break into the inner circle. I am contented to hang out with those outside of this city, or by myself. Keeping work and personal life separate is becoming my specialty.

As for the rest of the neighborhood, it is expectedly complicated. I have no strong desire to venture that far into the jungle yet. That day will come, but it is not now. I will enjoy my remaining peaceful days (as a rookie) as much as I can.

Thought I died and went to heaven

2006-09-07T05:18:00.000+08:00

Apparently I was a little better than I had rated myself. The last meeting was a success and the decision, made fairly quickly. I had initially expected it to be dragged out for at least a week. So it was such a delightful surprise to receive the good news barely a day after, the call coming in just as I stepped off the escalator into Kino at NAC.

I could still remember the exact spot and the numerous titles of the books on that shelf, where Mel had continued in his misleadingly apologetic voice, ".. and so I called with the good news.." I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the evening.

Later that night an email came in, informing me that the result of another long drawn-out project was out. To say that the particular project was the bane of my life was an understatement. It was a prolonged period of darkness and more darkness, and I was so completely acquainted with the gloom, I lost the concept of light.

I clicked on the link and checked out the results with the heaviest of heart. That night, I saw the sun. I was thoroughly and willingly blinded.

The day I met the very "focused" SS

2006-08-31T05:13:00.000+08:00

My suits arrived. I loved one of them and got the wrong size for the other (it was too big). The store had a no exchange policy, so I guess I was stuck with it for a while. Until, perhaps, I grew nice and fat enough to wear it the way that it should be worn.

The final meeting today went well. By "well", I meant, no major disasters that left stinky trails after everyone had gone from the meeting room. Still I couldn't stop fretting about it like I always did. I wished I could be more cool about it because then I wouldn't have breathe, work and sleep in one long continuous bad dream until the delivery of outcome.

Then M surprised me with the sexy pair of Ted Baker shades which I blogged about sometime back because ... actually I didn't know why. I was so bothered about the meeting earlier that I forgot to ask why he thought I deserved the gift. He was a dear. I would make it up to him with a big wet kiss tomorrow.

My suits are never arriving

2006-08-22T19:20:00.000+08:00

The biggest thing I hate about buying items online is the delivery time .. the lead time always seems like an eternity !

Happy birthday to the most beloved entity in my life .. I look at you and still can't believe how lucky I am to have you. And don't think I don't think that every. single. day. Happy third birthday, love.

It was my favorite place

2006-08-18T01:25:00.000+08:00

I slept little and got up early. The day was deceptively clear (it was not; it was drizzling at intervals and extremely humid but I realized it too late), so I took a spontaneous trip down to the zoo. I was the only one there with neither a backpack with food and water, nor a camera and camcorder. Exploring without a single luggage was the best way to go (until I needed water/ food/ wished I had a camera to snap some beautiful moments lol).

The zoo wasn't what I remembered it to be. It was like seeing an old friend after a decade and discovering that he'd aged two. It was a little unexpected (esp. since it was supposed to be one of the best zoos around ! ) and I was sad to see that. There were animals at certain parts of the zoo that seemed like they were left to fend on their own. They looked sorry and dirty and there was a huge bull that looked like it could be one of the most magnificent creatures around but was now just skin and bones.

Of course, there were all those other happy animals that were eating/ playing/ sleeping contentedly in their open concept habitats. I still loved the elephants, white tigers and polar bears. It would have been nice to take the tram but I missed the last one and wasted my tram ticket. Dad used to take many pictures of me sitting pretty on it when I was little.

The zoo wasn't all that bad. Even though I couldn't stop thinking of the poor neglected ones looking so resigned and wasting away in their stale enclosures (I was sure they weren't neglected per sec, even though they appeared to be so). I wished it wasn't the case, but I left the zoo feeling worse than when I first arrived.

Celebrating her b'day with 30% off my Borders book

2006-08-11T02:07:00.000+08:00

Happy (belated) National Day.

(ps: I'm leaving in less than 4 hours, and as per my usual style, I've yet to pack. I'm not feeling too bad about that though.. I'm more upset that I simply can't seem to find my camera charger. How it sucks.)

You know I'm recovering when I can blog

2006-07-28T22:07:00.000+08:00

It used to be that whenever I fell ill, there would be loved ones (parents/ sisters/ close friends/ boyfriends) fussing over me. Now at a grand old age of 2X it's just me on my own. I was hit with a bout of illness two days ago, one that bulldozed me without prior warnings or symptoms and had me feeling so goddamn awful, I wished I was delirious so I wouldn't be so acutely aware of the pain of swallowing my saliva that it killed all attempts to rest. I woke up every two minutes and once, when I opened my eyes after sleeping for the longest time, I realized that I'd really been asleep for five minutes. Goodness.

Seeing that I couldn't rest anyway, I got up to do household chores. I cleaned the room, changed the bed sheets and ironed more clothes than I've ironed in a few weeks. If you know me, you would know what accomplishments those were (haha). And so I rewarded myself with three movies on my Powerbook, several homemade egg tarts and a huge stab of banana chocolate cake. I was on my way to putting back the weight I lost (if any) from eating plain porridge for three straight days.

I should be more disciplined but I'm not, so today, the third day after I fell ill, I've abandoned my antibiotics and all other medication. I am still coughing my lungs out and burning at 38.something degrees but the pain from the sore throat is gone (hallelujah), and the mucus from the cold is no longer free flowing (no more walking around with a box of tissues). Tomorrow I'm going for a marathon walk at 7 bloody-am because my dad just asks me so (he doesn't know I am ill). I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'm finishing it in one whole, still-functional piece.

I bombed big time

2006-07-13T12:54:00.000+08:00

I am so intent on ignoring the things that I am supposed to do that I missed a major deadline of a submission that could well change my life. The spiral downhill is a lonely and gloomy ride.

Written by the operative speck of brain in the crack of my bull

2006-07-13T02:46:00.000+08:00

I am stuck in a volatile state of mind that would make me eligible for Prozac not for the first time in my life. I find myself eating incessantly, almost compulsively, upping two dress sizes in two weeks. Junk food mostly, if not, edible matter within reach/buying distance becomes my temporary source of sanity. I want to run away but my legs wouldn’t carry me far enough and I end up dreaming of the man I lost a very long time ago and remembering the silly promise we had that isn’t worth a single penny anymore. I am put down by the people who matter and surrounded by those who don’t, and I miss my black furball so much, I think I might be going insane.

First time in a while

2006-07-05T02:40:00.000+08:00

What a night. I couldn't remember the last time we did this, us three sisters having a girls' night out together; catching a chick flick, having a dinner of popcorn, fries and burger before running for some last minute grocery shopping. It's a little strange, how we grow closer after one of us becomes a Mrs. Absence does make the hearts grow fonder.

Lindsey Lohan was so much cuter than I thought in Just My Luck. I couldn't get those perfect barbie curls out of my head. Right now, I would pretty much give anything to wake up with those curls.

Return of the absentee

2006-07-03T00:29:00.000+08:00

I'm back. Big sister got married last Saturday. I was on active and standby duty since 6 am, so I wasn't able to take any shots of the beautiful bride (+groom) myself. The ones taken by the 'official' photographer were only available a couple of weeks from now so no photos for this long overdue post.

I saw a pair of pretty Ted Baker shades today. It almost emptied the few bucks and pennies in my pocket. A girl may never have enough dresses, bags and shades. But a girl has got to eat. So, at least for now ... Food 1, Shades 0 :(

On Hold

2006-04-07T03:37:00.000+08:00

I'm going on hiatus for a little while.

Stay

2006-04-05T06:42:00.000+08:00

I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown.
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure.
You try to tell me that I'm clever,
but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.
You said that I was naive,
and I thought that I was strong.
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you.

Dog Carnival at East Coast Park

2006-03-13T03:57:00.000+08:00

The Scruffy King does not walk.
He is carried by his Human Servants.

On Sunday, I brought Lecter down to East Coast Park for a dog carnival. It was the biggest dog ~~orgy~~ gathering I'd been to since my last visit to the dog park at NYC. Both Lecter and I were very much overwhelmed.

For the heck of it, I queued to enroll Lecter in one of the competitions. There were queues everywhere, for free samples of (*insert sponsors' products), food, water etc, that it was difficult see where one queue ended and another started. By the time I realized I was in the wrong one, I'd lost a pound through perspiration, and was too glad to run off to the cooling station.

One of Lecter's first friends.

The MC's booming voice told us that this was the fourth time the carnival was held, but looking at the way things were going that day, there was definitely still a big ass amount of room for improvement.

My pick for the Champion Wagger Competition. Her tail was an automatic fan.

I only watched half of one of the many competitions that didn't turn out to be as exciting as I thought it would be. We spent the rest of the hours at the cooling tent where Lecter made a few friends and I discovered a grey Lecter clone that came and went too quickly for me to force breed with the black one that I have, so I could have a whole brood of crazy lecters.

The White Princesses

My favorites at the carnival were the big ass breeds, one of them a stallion black standard/giant poodle that could easily match my height if it decided to stand up. Its dog bed was probably as big as my bed.

Its tongue is longer than your ice-cream.

We left the carnival soon after to begin the long crazy hike to McDonald’s right at the other side of the Park. By the time we left the Park altogether, we were crisped red like Fuji apples. We're gonna be nursing our sunburns for the week to come.

The sun, the sea and a dog tied to the railing.

Moblogging: Happy Valentine's Birthday

2006-02-15T09:20:00.000+08:00

My 3rd chocolate b'day cake in 2 months. Our man's hit the big Three-O !

My love, my poopie

2006-02-14T23:39:00.000+08:00

Looking like the perfect toy dog.

"Like any love story, Lecter was totally unexpected.

A friendly couple had placed 3 Shih Tzu male puppies for sale. Of the trio, Lecter was the fiercest and smallest at 1.5 pounds, "just 1/3 the weight of my notebook", my gf, B used to say.

She would also be the one to complain of his bad temper and total distaste for strangers. Yet, I found myself drawn to the very characteristics that made Lecter so undesirable as a pet.

B chose a frail but adorable tri colored Shih Tzu instead, but as fate would have it, the Shih Tzu she picked had a near death experience and the sale was called off.

We were still rather hard up for anything that had a p and an up to it, so I persuaded B to take a chance on Lecter. On the way home, I will not forget how she shivered in fear as she laid the crazy pup on her lap.

Her fears were unfounded. Months later, she became best friends with Lecter and the deadly duo would join forces against me. I still wonder how in the world I ended up with one or the other, but I guess that's love for you. Totally unexpected." - D

One of the Browns

2006-02-10T01:14:00.000+08:00

I was out & back in 20 min, but he wagged his tail like he'd not seen me for 20 years.

I was surprised. Everyone noticed my (fringe)cut. I knew it was different, but I didn't know it was that obvious. Most of them said it was "cute". When I met my best gal friend for dinner, she burst out laughing and I looked like "that character in Peanuts".

Which one, I asked. Is it Lucy ? I don't mind Lucy.

No no, it's that one with a curly fringe ! Yea, you look just like her.

New year, new look

2006-02-09T00:01:00.000+08:00

The daily fix.

Thanks to my impulsivity, I now look the goose that I am. In a moment of restlessness, I'd my long beautiful fringe snipped off and it now curls up like a mouse's tail. I'm still trying to convince myself that a mousy little fringe like that is just what I need to complete my asian doll look.

Stop laughing.

Something's amiss in my life

2006-02-07T23:29:00.000+08:00

Walking 3.5 km (~2 mi) home from J8 b/c my ezlink had ran out of value, and b/c I was badly in need of some exercise.

I am suffering from withdrawal symptoms of not being able to plug into my iPod b/c I couldn't find my FireWire cable to update and charge/fire up my iPod.

Please, Cable, it's time to show yourself ! I am willing to give in to whatever demands you have !

I also miss unwinding in front of episodes of Family Guy, American Dad and South Park. Anyone who has them and feels a little charitable, you know where to send them to .. I'm more starved for them than I care to admit.

Gmail+talk ... It's good to chat.

2006-02-07T15:51:00.000+08:00

Please oh please, don't let it start out like Google Earth -- for Win-stupid-dows only.

Moblogging 03-02-06

2006-02-04T10:16:00.000+08:00

One of the newest, and biggest, addition to the fast growing chain of toast bread and tea.

I'm just passing by, tho I'll prob check out the newbie soon !

Moblogging 01-02-06

2006-02-02T07:30:00.000+08:00

Getting ready outside the Branch.

One troop member tells me that one of them's a male lion, and the other, a female.

The dance for good luck and fortune.

Look, the white one's looking at me haha. The gold/orange one cuddled up to me later too. Cute !

The NTUC auntie says that if we look hard enough, we can see the lucky numbers that we can use to buy (and win) the lottery.

Happy CNY, all !

Operation Cleanup (2)

2006-01-16T17:56:00.000+08:00

Meanwhile, at home, they were trying to get me to clean up my spaces in the girls' rooms. It was in preparation for the Sister's summer wedding, where one of the customs required the the entire extended family and relatives, to come to our place for some tea drinking ceremony.

I took a look at what used to be my desk by the window and groaned. It was currently an open storage space; things were piled so high up, they were almost touching the ceiling.

This morning, armed with nothing but a resolution to clean up the desk to a reasonably good state, I set out to convert it from an open storage back to well, ... a desk.

It proved to be such a tough nut to crack. I couldn't bear to throw away so many things that I ended up with approximately the same amount of things I started with. I am currently sitting amidst all the rubbish, with a plate of noodles (lunch) on my lap and typing this in my notebook. I am beginning to wish I have Mei's everything-goes cleanup ability.

Operation Cleanup (1)

2006-01-16T12:20:00.000+08:00

If I'd a vote, I would throw it in for the housekeeper being one of the toughest jobs around. It had got almost everything to do with the fact that I made such a bad one myself, and very little to do with anything else.

Last week we had to clear Mei's room at the Office for a mini renovation. On top of the obvious junk, we were throwing away perfectly good things, amongst them, new folders, clean legal papers and 4 polo tees still in their plastic covers. I thought it was a waste to dump 'em like that, so I secretly put some aside to give to the cleaning auntie.

In just an hour or two we managed to make bare Mei's room and half a dozen more cupboards. I was pretty amazed by the efficiency. Mei was right; she was a dang good housekeeper.

First b'day of the year

2006-01-12T01:58:00.000+08:00

Ed turned 28 today. So it was true. The numbers jumped so much faster after you passed 21st.

We celebrated with delectable slices of b'day cake topped with rich creamy chocolate, with the crispest biscuit base that I'd had. Perfectly sinful.

It made the fish burger that I had after it, taste like plain bread.

That was what happened when you had dessert before the main course.

Being frank

2006-01-12T01:27:00.000+08:00

I didn’t usually get impatient at work. But it was the day after my cell phone was stolen/lost, and D was in the room going on about the same things that she had been complaining about for the past few months. She threw her hands in the air, turned to the external personnel and said, I've already told them many times, ending with big shakes of her head, like what a teacher would do when talking about a kid that she'd given up on.

Most times, I would hold my tongue. It was not my place to comment much, and I would rather not start it over such trivial matters. She was making mountains out of molehills, and it was such tiring, demoralising office behavior.

But on that day, when she turned to complain to me (again) about the things that the rest of us had no control over, I looked at her and replied the very obvious in a flat nonchalant tone.

D was probably a little shocked that I did so (she probably wasn't expecting responses/answers to her complains/bitching), coz the replies she gave after that seemed pretty flustered. I was a little amused. I didn't stay around to see her complete her bossy routine; I would rather be attending to other quieter activities, like my lunch for e.g.

I wasn't around on Monday. When I came into the office today, Sy told me that D had complained to the Boss that I was rude to her. I didn't know the full story but I heard that Boss hadn't been too bothered about it (everyone in office knew how D was like), and even suggested that perhaps she was rude to me first. Or that I was simply being direct.

I don’t know which is sadder

2006-01-09T01:44:00.000+08:00

.. humans dying from violence in wars for power, or millions dying from “preventable and easily treatable diseases” coz’ of poor access to any decent health care.

Both of which are, actually, very much preventable, aren’t they ?

Not the most beautiful start

2006-01-06T01:18:00.000+08:00

Today was a bad day. Fan texted me early in the morning, visibly distressed. Apparently the one thing that he’d been dreading all this while was starting to happen ... again. It was sad, and I genuinely felt sorry for my mate. It’s not going to be easy, but I’m certain he’ll learn to cope with it again. Meanwhile I would be keeping him in the prayers.

Monet’s eyes swelled up terribly and he could barely see anything properly. It looked painful. I wished he had stayed at home today. It was such a rare compliment, but when he said that I was pretty today, I seriously believed that swelled-up eyes did make everything seem so much lovelier.

On my way to Raffles today, just before I reached the Other Office, I discovered, to my dismay, that my mobile phone was nowhere to be found. I searched my bag over and again. I must have dropped it on the bus/train. I wasn’t panicky but I was awfully upset. It was only a little more than eight months ago that I queued up for hours to purchase the phone. Yea, I was such a dork. I loved it loads, even though it was such a problem giver compared to my previous phones.

I called my no., hoping to get the other party to answer the phone and hopefully return it to me. The person pressed away my calls several times. I sent a message to my phone. There was no reply. Finally a couple of hours later, he/she switched off my phone.

It was just depressing. For a moment I was tempted to unleash some wild made-up curses on the person, but really, had it not been my carelessness, he/she would not have much chances to be a finder keeper. Sigh.

Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day. Meanwhile I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the person who’s found my phone, would find his conscience as well to contact the rightful owner soon.